20. Velane’s Birth Story: Ectopic Pregnancy, Miscarriage, and Episiotomy

On today’s episode, Taylor’s mom, Velane Spotville, joins Elle and Taylor to share the story of Taylor entering the world! Velane shares her journey through ectopic pregnancy, miscarriage, and Taylor’s birth (with episiotomy). They talk about bedside manner, the importance of individualized care, how things have changed from the 80s to now, pregnancy guilt and expectations, and postpartum depression.

“I am glad that they listened to you, and they listened to your individual story and helped work around that to give you the care that you needed given your personal medical history.” – Elle Kennedy

“While I was pregnant, I always had this sense of insecurity in the fact that … I was thrilled to be pregnant. I did everything that I was asked to do and that I was supposed to do, but I always felt just that I wasn’t doing it RIGHT, if that makes any sense.” – Velane Spotville

“Our society places a lot of expectations on “pregnancy is supposed to be a struggle,” and “birth is supposed to be a struggle.” It’s “supposed to be” a physical thing that we have to endure. And I actually reject that narrative!” – Elle Kennedy

“A lot of the struggles we have as birthing people come from the narrative that we’re told of it “should” look like, and if our experience doesn’t match up with that, we’re expected to feel guilt or we feel guilt around that, and I don’t think we should!” – Elle Kennedy

“Our experience is uniquely our own, and there’s beauty in all of our journeys, regardless of how they start, how they end, or what that journey looks like.” – Elle Kennedy

“I don’t think I appreciated the pregnancy as much as I thought I should be.” – Velane Spotville

“When we have fear, it keeps us from engaging in the present.” – Elle Kennedy

“There’s so many emotions, and they just feel so big, and it’s hard to remember what anything was like outside of those feelings you’re in.” – Elle Kennedy

“No one knows what they’re doing when they have their first child!” – Velane Spotville

“Your second kid is probably not going to be anything like your first kid, because that’s what the world gives you!” – Elle Kennedy

“The next day is a new day, and I know it sounds cliche, but you can start over and just enjoy it!” – Velane Spotville

“Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it… yet.” – L.M. Montgomery (Anne of Green Gables)

Listen to the episode here.

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Today’s guest: Velane Spotville (Taylor’s mom!)

Velane Spotville is a native Californian. She is a special education teacher and has taught Learning Disabled preschool students for 7 years, and then was able to transition to the job of her dreams and teach in the Deaf/Hard-of-Hearing program in the Pomona District for the past 24 years. After 31 years in the same district, she will be retiring this June. She has been married for 12 years, and between her husband and her, they have four grown children, one granddaughter, and 2 great-grandchildren! She enjoys doing puzzles, collecting bumblebees, but her favorite thing is dancing!

You can find her on Instagram @velanespotville.

Resources related to today’s episode:

Birth from the Partner’s Perspective – with Dr. Jay Warren

Rate of Knowledge is Growing Exponentially: “It is estimated that the doubling time of medical knowledge in 1950 was 50 years; in 1980, 7 years; and in 2010, 3.5 years. In 2020 it is projected to be 0.2 years—just 73 days.” 

Amanda’s Birth Story

Courtney’s Birth Story

Who are Elle and Taylor?

Elle Kennedy is a maternity, birth, and family photographer and doula based in Orange County, California. She’s a mother of two, a member of the LGBTQ+ community, and an advocate for consent and respect for personal preferences during pregnancy, labor, birth, and postpartum. She homeschools, is polyamorous, loves tea and scones, and loves using her free time to create and bake.

Dr. Taylor Garcia is a Webster Certified Chiropractor located in the Orange County, California area, with a family practice that focuses on pregnant persons and babies. She is currently going through the International Chiropractic Pediatric Association’s certification program and plans to have that completes by 2021. While not a mama yet, she is the consummate “mom friend,” and hopes to adopt with her partners in about 5 years. She is part of the LGBTQ+ community and polyamorous. She believes in focusing on health and wellness from before birth, and using that as a firm foundation for health and wellness throughout life. She believes in the importance of connection and consent in all aspects of life. She is a dancer, a writer, a bookworm, and a fan of music and musicals.

Contact Elle:

Instagram: @elle.kennedy.photography

Website: ellekennedyphotography.com

Facebook: Elle Kennedy Photography

Contact Taylor:

Website: birthandbeyondchiro.com

Email: taylorjgarcia@att.net

Facebook: Dr. Taylor Garcia, DC

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